Hilarious Jokes To Impress Your Crush Over Text

Girl smiling at phone

Laughter is the route to anybody’s heart. We’ve all heard this saying, and while everyone’s sense of humor is different, it doesn’t hurt to have some funny jokes to tell your crush. Whether it be to ease into a comfortable, conversational flow or just a have to make them laugh, jokes are your best bet.

Cheesy, funny pick-up lines guaranteed to make your crush smile

1. Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.
2. By the way, don’t freak out if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. He’s just fulfilling my wish of wanting you for Christmas.
3. Some people fall off their bikes; some people fall from trees. But the best way for you to fall… is in love with me.
4. I’m so sorry. I know I can’t change the fact that I wasn’t in your past, but can I make it up to you by being a part of your future?
5. Hey. I’m an unemployed guy with a certificate in cuddling, a diploma in caring, and a degree in kissing. Do you have a job for me?
6. You know what? Your lips should meet for a, you know, informal, business casual type meeting.
7. Hey. Wait, I think you’ve dropped something. [What?] Your standards. Hi, I’m [insert name].

Hilarious pick-up lines that can win over any boy

1. I’m sorry, but I think someone might ask you to leave pretty soon. And I wouldn’t blame them. I mean, just look at how gorgeous you are. You’re making everyone else look bad.
2. Sorry to bother you, but could you tell me what time it is right now? I just want to remember the moment I met the girl of my dreams.
3. You know, I’ve been told my lips are like skittles. So, are you ready to taste the rainbow?
4. Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Oh wait, that’s right, enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m [insert name].
5. Hey. Could I see your license by any chance? Oh wait, you don’t have it do you? It had to have gotten suspended for driving all those guys crazy.
6. Wait, wait, wait. I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Oh yeah, it doesn’t have your number in it. Do you want to help me fix it?
7. Hey, do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
8. [Sneeze as you walk by them] Oh no need bless me. God already did by putting you in my life.
9. I want to have a candle-lit dinner with you, and then I want to say those three magical words… Pay the bill.
10. What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only vegetable that can make someone cry? Throw a coconut in their face.

The best corny dad jokes proven to make anyone laugh

1. What do you call a pony with a cough? A little hoarse.
2. What do you call someone with a rubber toe? Roberto.
3. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him.
4. What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish? Well, this tastes a little funny.
5. What do runners eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!
6. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
7. What do you call a factory that only markets passable products? A satisfactory!
8. Do you want to hear a joke about construction? Nevermind, I’m still working on it!
9. What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador!

Good puns to text your crush when you want them doubling over in laughter

1. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
2. Are you sure you’re not a chicken? Because I don’t know about anyone else, but to me, you look impeccable.
3. Do you know why seagulls fly over the sea? Well, they can’t fly over the bay! Then they would be bagels.
4. How would you reply if I said: “you deserve better”? I don’t know about you, but I would say: “you read my mind”!
5. Hey. Do you like Star Wars by any chance? Because Yoda only one for me!
6. What do you think you would be named if you were a burger at Mcdonalds? I know! McGorgeous.
7. Do you want to know what I’m in the mood for right now? Pizza. Well, more like a pizza you.

Just keep in mind that the first rule of comedy is timing. Don’t put pressure on yourself to seem funny and cute all the time. Ask the questions that feel right, and you’ll definitely get your crush to open up over text. Keep it lighthearted, and you’ll find yourself keeping them entertained, as well as yourself!

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